A little thing many of us forget during the holidays, especially in December, is not everyone is merry and it is not necessarily because they, like Dr. Seuss’ Grinch have a heart that’s too small. On the contrary, some have a huge heart but its broken due to a loss of a (or several) loved ones. What do we say to the mother whose experiencing her 1st holiday without a child? What do we say to the senior who has spend 40 or more years with a spouse and who are trying to figure out what to do since this is the 1st holiday without the one whose been by their side for as long as we can remember? Some people want to be merry but are experiencing difficulties getting to merry. 1st the disclaimer, I am neither by training or practice a mental health care professional; my formal education is not in the mental health field. Now that we’ve established what I am not, lets move to what we all are – people with emotions; people with the ability to empathize; people with the ability to care and people with the ability to be silent and listen. I am of the opinion everyone is deserving of respect and should be treated with dignity. Allow people to get to merry by allowing them the time they need (not what we think they should need) to grieve (Romans 12:15). Enable people to get to merry by listening to their story (without superimposing our story onto their story). Light the pathway for merry by inviting them to stay connected and giving them space when they need to process their pain. Place a landmark to merry by encouraging people to talk to mental health care professionals (when my tooth aches, I see a dentist; when my mind weeps, seeing a therapist may be in order). Getting to merry after being in pain is a process; respect the process and be a guide who helps lead people back to merry. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette
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I’m not sure why we do it, but sometimes we talk ourselves out of positive possibilities. Its as if there’s a rule book in the game of our lives (not to be confused with the game of “Life”) on who should and should not be able to do certain things and somewhere in that book, probably after the list of pieces in the box but before the instructions there’s a statement saying, this is for everyone except (insert your name here). Everyone but (insert your name here) can be happy. Everyone but (insert your name here) can achieve their dreams. Today, I stand to say that’s not the case and I stand to let you know those things everyone else can achieve is a possibility for you, yes, you. You can be loved. There is One who loves you from the innermost part of your being. Yes, you, you can change. Your origin does not determine or limit your destiny. Yes, you, you can be fulfilled. The potential that exists in you can change the earth (Mark 11:23). Yes, you. You are not alone. There is One who will never leave you or turn His back on you. Look in the mirror. The woman whose reflection you see is a victorious warrior. She’s faced a few things, some that people know about but others that no one other than she and her Creator know. She’s stronger than other people realize. She’s loving, sometimes she’s been mistreated because of her loving nature so she guards her heart a little more closely. She’s a woman of faith. The journey of life has led to hills, valleys, mountains, rivers and quicksand but because of her faith, she is still on the journey. Whose that awesome woman? You, yes, you. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette I’m pretty certain I’ve shared this before, but I like commercials. As a child, commercials were sometimes more interesting than the program they “interrupted”. I remember waiting for School House Rock commercials (tell the truth, one of them just popped into your head). When School House Rock came on the television screen, I expected music, cartoon characters and a song I could remember. At the time, I didn’t realize the producers where using my expectancy of their delivered product as a means to provide educational enlightenment to my young mind. All I knew was I waited for them and they never let me down. We are in a season of expectancy. What are you expecting to receive? I wish I had a magic hat. I’d reach into it while saying special words and make your expectation a reality but sorry, I do not and cannot. What are you expecting and what are you doing while you’re waiting for what you’re expecting to be manifested? My suggestion? Prepare for what you expect to receive. Without preparation you may have difficulty understanding the level of commitment needed for maintaining what you are expecting to receive. What am I expecting? Dreams and visions to be realized; I am preparing space in my schedule and mind for things larger than my now to break through the future into my present. I trust the One who gave the dream to fulfill it. (Numbers 23:19) What am I expecting? Things I began to be completed; I am setting deadlines for deliverables and am looking at what things are distractions from me walking in my destiny. What are you expecting and how will you make room for it? Its one thing to say, I want what is for me but an entirely different thing to prepare space (mentally, physically and emotionally) for it. During your season of expectancy, prepare. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette Why am I thankful? Because I believe I cannot take anything for granted. As one who has heard the words “Congestive Heart Failure” and been unable to breathe, I count each breath as a gift (Gen. 2:7). Why can you be thankful? Because you cannot orchestrate, organize or order your life – how do I know this without knowing you? Because I know me and if I could have ordered every aspect of my life, I would have made far fewer mistakes. Why be thankful? Because despite what we may believe, we are not the end all be all authority over all things (Jer. 10:23) but there is One who is and that One cares for us.
Be thankful because you are; there are those who never had the opportunity to be. Be thankful for what is because it could have been another way. Be thankful for potential and possibilities because as long as we have life, we have another chance. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette No, I’m not going to debate over the validity of the Thanksgiving Holiday and no, I’m not going to review the historical backdrop for the holiday. My focus in this devotional is having an attitude of thankfulness. According to dictionary.com, thankfulness is an adjective meaning “feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative”.
Blessings, Rev. Antoinette At a minimum, we operate in 3 lanes of forgiveness: us being forgiven, us forgiving ourselves and us forgiving others. If we fail to operate in any 1 of the 3 lanes, the other 2 cannot be fully embraced. Have you considered the lengths to which you’ve been forgiven? None of us have been perfect (Romans 3:10 & 3:23); every last one of us (no matter your age, race, religion or socio-economic background) has missed the mark for being completely “good”. Forgiveness for saying something we’ve claimed we’d never say again; forgiveness for desiring something (or someone) that is attached to someone else and forgiveness for misdirected anger. Yet, no matter what test we’ve failed, forgiveness is possible. I don’t know about you, but I’m my own biggest critic. I rehearse my shortcomings and wonder what could have been, if only. . . One of the hardest people for me to forgive is me but we are to move forward, it can only be after forgiving ourselves and using those lessons we’ve learned from our failures. There is a huge difference between forgiveness and excusing; when the hurt is unintentional or minor, we excuse – forgiveness only comes into being when the hurt is deep. When we don’t forgive, we harbor and internalize the poison that pain brings. Forgiveness cleanses, purifies and perfects us because when we consider the lengths, depths and widths forgiveness had to cross to embrace us, we can extend it to others. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette On November 1, some of us took a few moments to reflect on those within our culture who paved the way for the things we have and can access. Those who sacrificed their time, energy, efforts and in many instances their lives for people they never met but with whom they had a commonality. Some may refer to them as our Ancestors, Saints and/or Elders and others may not have a name for them but see them as being much more than persons from our history books.
When I think of people like Maggie Lena Walker, I wonder how she withstood those who told her she’d never be a teller at a bank when she knew she had the knowledge to own and manage them. When I think of people like Medgar Evers, I wonder how he had to courage to drive from town to town registering people to vote when he knew that his actions would lead to his death. When I think of the One who believed my worth exceeded my faults, I cannot fathom how or why He loves me to the extent He does. But what do we do with the knowledge of managing my money like Maggie, my drive to better my community life Medgar and desiring for all to know about the One who loves them more than they can imagine (Eph. 3:30)? Move forward. We can move forward, equipped with the knowledge they sacrificed everything to give to us. We can move forward, empowered by the confidence that we can possess what they only dreamt of and we can move forward, never forgetting we are the ones those behind us need to lead. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette
No, I am not going to provide an opinion on Halloween, whether you participate or not is your decision – in the language of my late grandmother, we have bigger fish to fry. Whether you wear a costume on October 31st or not, most of us wear masks the other 364 (or 365 in a leap year) days of the year. Some wear a mask of the Perfect Princess – there is always a smile painted on your face and no hair is out of place; but on the inside, you’re broken and weeping. Some wear a mask of Super Sensuality (yes, I went there), you’re rocking your dress that hugs in all of the right places, stilettoes and have spent a couple of paychecks in the lingerie store; but on the inside, you long for someone to see you as more than a hook-up. Some wear a mask of Constant Church-goer – you have a 6-inch cross around your neck; are at your house of worship 6 nights a week and have memorized the entire Bible; but you can’t remember the last time you took off your black patented leather kitten heels and laughed so hard that you had to catch your breath. Who are you beneath the mask? Where is the little girl who used to wrap a towel around her head, hold a comb in her hand and pretend she was a superstar? Yes, we all grow up and life happens but we were created by One who thought enough of us to make us in His image (Gen. 1:27) give us a personality (1 Sam. 16:7) and a purpose (Eph. 2:10). Every now and then (and in safe places), remember to remove your mask. The woman behind it is probably a pretty cool person. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette
Merriam-Webster defines welcome as a transitive verb used “to greet hospitably and with courtesy or cordially” and “to accept with pleasure the occurrence or presence of”. If you’re anything like me, you prefer not to be any place where you are not welcomed or wanted (given the events of late, it appears as though the list of places where those with whom I share a similar heritage or similar set of opinions has grown). Its not that I believe everyone is my friend or enjoys my company, however I think of myself as a fairly decent person and appreciate honesty in relationships; if I’m not welcomed to be with you, please let me know and I’ll go where I am. There is 1 place I know where my presence is always wanted and welcomed, with my Creator, the One who loves me more than I love myself (1 John 4:19). Not only am I welcomed into His house, I have been welcomed into His family (Eph. 5:1 & John 3:6). My Creator doesn’t reject me because of my ethnicity because He created me to be who I am and He doesn’t restrict me because of my gender because He crafted my femininity; I am welcomed. But guess what? Not only am I welcomed into His family, so are you. How do I know you’re welcome? Because the one who created me, created you and our Creator welcomes us into fellowship with Him, to talk to Him in prayer and to read about His love for us in His Word. Welcome, warmly and with courtesy invited into the Presence. Sounds like I’m invited to the place where I want to be; have you accepted your invitation? Blessings, Rev. Antoinette One of my favorite lines for pot luck dinners is “Please, don’t get new on me”. If you are not known for cooking, please do not make me your science project; I’m good with take-out and store-bought goods. ‘New’ is one of those phrases that can have both good and bad connotations, a new car is one that has never had another owner and hasn’t needed (or missed) required servicing (which has always made me wonder what ‘new car smell’ could be in an air freshener); a new house is one that hasn’t had an owner reside in it (but could and probably has been seen by quite a few people); new shoes may have been tried on by others but have never been ‘worn’ but the best ‘new’ of all, is a new life – an opportunity for a transformed existence.
What’s so great about being new? I’m glad you asked. New is us getting a clean slate; I don’t know about you but I have definitely made several errors (intentional and unintentional) and I appreciate the additional chance (yes, I needed more than a 2nd one). New says to our past, although you are still there, your purpose is different. Past, you used to define who they were and what they can do, now you are a footnote to their story. New is not something we can achieve or earn, new is a gift. New doesn’t necessarily change our circumstances, but it can change how we view our reality (2 Cor. 5:17; Rev. 21:4 and Rom. 8:18 – 21). How about you? Have you been made new? Blessings, Rev. Antoinette |
AuthorRev. Antoinette Gatewood-Sykes, Inspirational Speaker Archives
May 2019
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