A little thing many of us forget during the holidays, especially in December, is not everyone is merry and it is not necessarily because they, like Dr. Seuss’ Grinch have a heart that’s too small. On the contrary, some have a huge heart but its broken due to a loss of a (or several) loved ones. What do we say to the mother whose experiencing her 1st holiday without a child? What do we say to the senior who has spend 40 or more years with a spouse and who are trying to figure out what to do since this is the 1st holiday without the one whose been by their side for as long as we can remember? Some people want to be merry but are experiencing difficulties getting to merry. 1st the disclaimer, I am neither by training or practice a mental health care professional; my formal education is not in the mental health field. Now that we’ve established what I am not, lets move to what we all are – people with emotions; people with the ability to empathize; people with the ability to care and people with the ability to be silent and listen. I am of the opinion everyone is deserving of respect and should be treated with dignity. Allow people to get to merry by allowing them the time they need (not what we think they should need) to grieve (Romans 12:15). Enable people to get to merry by listening to their story (without superimposing our story onto their story). Light the pathway for merry by inviting them to stay connected and giving them space when they need to process their pain. Place a landmark to merry by encouraging people to talk to mental health care professionals (when my tooth aches, I see a dentist; when my mind weeps, seeing a therapist may be in order). Getting to merry after being in pain is a process; respect the process and be a guide who helps lead people back to merry. Blessings, Rev. Antoinette
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AuthorRev. Antoinette Gatewood-Sykes, Inspirational Speaker Archives
May 2019
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